life is nice. am writting after ages. how much things have changed and in a way they havent.
at this very moment i have nothing to do.. actually...for 2 months... i have no clue which college i am gonna go too
its kinda bugging...but i kinda like it as well
nad man valley means the world to me. its really really does. the friends i have made here
are surely my firneds for life. its just so different now when i meet other people,,, such vague things matter to them... and its just wierd.
but ya i will find some nice ones too...

Date:	2004-11-01 12:39
Subject:	lets rewrite an ending that fits instead of a hollywood horror
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm
Music:	someday-

someday somehow gonna make it alright but not right now......
things happen for a reason- and whatever happens---- its better now than never... is what i seem to be believing.
relationships dont end they change....
dont know for the better or the worse but they change.
firendship is the most strongest relationship- said someone
and i feel that too. one thing i know is that when i do make friends and feel comfortable around them. i give them all i have if not more.
and it hurts when they break ur trust and honesty.
it hurt me a lot when i saw that he hurt me ,he knew he did we spoke abput it- hoping that things wud change but they dint.
i was hurt first cuz it dint seem to hurt him as much as it hurt me... but now. i really dont care. he is not the kinda friend i want ....
when he can let go of such a deep friendship so easily. i guess it dint mean that much to him. but i did surely enjoy my time with him. infact i loved it. i do miss those times but they are better off as memories. i 'll keep flying and pick up whatever i want. but when what i pick up begins to affect my flight i let go of it. i will pick uop stuff that will help me fly and not pull me down instead.and i will keep dancing no matter what. cuz life has sooooo much to offer i cant waste it by worryin abt such small things/

Date:	2004-04-12 11:23
Subject:	good. smilling
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful
Music:	save tonight.

i am really happy with life right now. everything is going well. sometimes i cant figure out why peaple do what they do. but right now my philosophy in life is- if you cant deal with it today then dont drag it on to the next day cuz the next day is a new begining. so dont want to think about some things. everything is good.i love my friends. ia m soooooo happy. thank you.

Date:	2004-03-31 21:30
Subject:	why...???
Security:	Public
Mood:	peaceful
Music:	sing along- blue man group feat.dmb

i was wondering why i always make mistakes. cant really seem to figure that out. sometimes i guess things happen for the best. i really miss being very close to this friend. but now i am fine. because we were close-but she never really understood me well. she would keep telling me that i ws an open book and assume she knew me really well. but i feel she dint. and we had lots of problems due to that. now we are friends that enjoy each others complany. we laugh together alot. and i like that and want to leave it like that.i dont think i want a deep level of friendship with her.
i am really enjoying life. now- i just want to live the moment. there is no point in worrying about the future because by doing that we spoil the present and it lead to tension. so now i'm just living the moment and enjoying it . my school days are going to end soon. so i am just trying to spend time with all me friends. i am really gonna miss them. :(
i feel abd so quickly. any small action of my friends-i begin to doubt thier trust and i feel bad.thats wrong. because i know they care and trust me . i should just trust them completly.and things will be fine.
'one should be able to let go. if he comes back -he 's yours. if he doesnt -he never was'

Date:	2004-03-14 10:10
Subject:	i just keep thinking.
Security:	Public
Mood:	thoughtful
Music:	dont stop dancing by creed

its sooo easy to become possesive abt someone in a relashionship and get worried at every step. thats me- i get worried really fast and begin feeling hurt too. i need to be stop feeling dependant to a person in a relationship. thats what causes the worry.i gotta believe n trust the person completely(abviously only if i really think the person is worht it)in order to not get stresses so quickly.i am trying to do that now. it seems slightly hard. some friends i dont get stressed about. but some others-i get stressed about them. i need to relax and just be.anyway- i am really enjoying life. i am happy right now. very happy.

Date:	2004-03-07 03:59
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	my immortal by evenescence.

right now my life seems so finite. yeah i know it is finite but when i live it i dont think about the end.but now it seems like my life is going to face a big pause. i know i shouldnt be thinking about it but just cant stop. i am in the 12th and in no time will i have to leave this world of mine and move on to another. there is some excitement but too much of sadness.
i keep thinking and wondering and worrying abt the people that around me. every small action gets me worried . and then thats all i think about for noyt only 24hrs but more. life has given me so much and until now i have not been able to give back anything. i feel very guilty.thats all. i just love contemplating.as of now thats all i am doing. i am trying to understand myself and my life.thats all for now.

Date:	2004-01-13 13:31
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	creative
Music:	tere nal nachna - rishi rich

everything is going on just great.
enjoying life totally.

things r all wierd.
i get upset at every small thing. dunno- i guess today i was really moody.
but i was just thinking abt my friendship with this girl . n i just feel like apolojizing. i think it has been mainly my fault for making her feel the way she felt. i really hurt her. by not actually noticing her feelings n being there for her during the excursion. i think i hurt her a lot. i was feeling really upset abt it. in a way id di fail as a friend - because a friend is suppose to be there-always. and i wasnt. so i lost out on a great friend. now she will never want to trust me again. i dont blame her. i just want to try and make things better. this friend of mine told me to talk to her and that would have been the first thing i would do. but this time things were wierd. really wierd- because i hadent even noticed anything- at all. so i have written to her and hope she feels better . i really hope so.
everyone is soooo diff in this world. seriously i have met so many ppl n each one is soo diff. sometimes u connect with someone n sometimes u dont. sometimes u just feel so comfortable with someone. and i have found friends with whom i am at ease. i just feel so nice around them . they make me feel special. i hope i can make them feel the same way.
and "best friends"- i have never been able to really understand that concept. but i have found one- "best friend". someone who listens to me. keeps laughing all the time but is listening to me at the same time. its wonderfull. i love spending time with my best friend. and i dont even doubt whether he cares because i know he does . i can feel it....actually i have two best friends.i dunno i dont get it.
today i am happy and sad.